Monday, October 23, 2006

The Terrible, Horrible, No Good, Very Bad Week (And it's only Tuesday!)

As Alexander said in his book, “I think I’ll move to Australia.” It’s been one of those awful weeks, the kind of week that seems like one long, very bad Monday. I know, I know, it’s only Tuesday, but if this week gets any worse, well, I just won’t go there…

Monday, I woke up to my daughter talking in her very loud “quiet voice”. She said, “Mommy! Mommy! Turn on PBS kids!” Her wish is my command (at least at that time of the morning), so I did just that to make her stop the loud sound that was coming out of her mouth. How can a mouth that small make such a loud noise so early in the morning? Can you tell I’m not a morning person?

The next thing I know my son is awake and is growl-screaming in his I’m-so-mad-you-didn’t-get-me-up-first voice, “Mommy! Mommy!” So I went in and got him up hoping that if I brought him to my room to sit on the bed and watch cartoons that he and Rachel would watch quietly while I slept peacefully. HA! I’m so naïve sometimes, I amuse myself when I look back on it. This naïveté, of course, is due to the fact that I am SO not a morning person that I can’t even think or reason clearly in the morning.

Anyway, throughout the course of Monday, my daughter dirtied herself once, my son proceeded to dirty himself profusely, so much so that I had to change his clothes twice, and my allergies drove me crazy which meant that I had a pounding headache while sneezing and coughing all day. And so I move on to Tuesday…

Again, I was awakened by my lovely daughter’s “quiet voice” and Benjamin’s growl-scream. My mother was going to the doctor that morning, so I put her wheelchair in her car for her. As she was walking to the car she told me that she was hurting badly from the physical therapy the day before. I noticed that she had a hard time getting her stiff legs into the car. I thought to myself, I’ll be nice and clean out her whirlpool tub so that she can soak her aching muscles when she gets home.

I had heard my mom say that the manufacturer’s recommendation was to use dishwashing soap for half an hour (it’s debatable what she actually said, but what I heard was dishwashing liquid). So in the interest of my mother’s good health and happiness, I started filling the tub with water and gave it two small squirts of Palmolive dishwashing liquid. (Yes, I'm sure you can all see this coming - but do remember please, I am blonde!) When the tub was filled just over the top of the jets, I turned the water off, closed the door of her bedroom and went out into the kitchen to set the timer. In the thirty minutes from the timer starting to it going off, I was in the middle of fixing a fiasco at my bank.
In the midst of a rather irritating conversation with a bank teller, the timer for the bathtub went off. I had been placed on hold by the bank teller so I went in to check the progress of the tub cleaning. Now, for any of those who try to multi-task while talking on the phone, I don’t recommend in this particular instance going to check on a whirlpool tub cleaning while being on the phone, at least not if you've decided to clean it with dishwashing liquid (that's the important part here). Let’s just say that it was a good thing I was still on hold because I would’ve had some explaining to do to a now deaf bank teller. Needless to say, I finished my conversation with the bank teller rather quickly once she came back on the line.

This is what had happened - when I opened the door of my mother’s bedroom and stood in the doorway to her bathroom, I saw bubbles edging out toward the doorway. Surprised I went a few steps further looking in to the bathroom. Bubbles had floated out and up to the upper part of the shower and I could no longer actually see the tub. I was horrified!

Once I was off the phone and since I didn’t want to get my clothes all soapy and wet, I stripped off all my clothes and went into the bathroom, through the bubbles and into the tub itself to turn off the jets and drain the tub. I hadn’t realized that I had left my mother’s bedroom door open until I saw two little children staring at me with stunned faces. They started jumping up and down and with smiles on their faces they shouted, “I want a bath too!”

After convincing them not to remove their clothes and that Mommy was just cleaning and didn’t want to get her clothes all soapy (I sincerely hope that they don’t remember this incident later or we’ll all be in therapy for a very long time!), I got the bathtub cleaned and the area around it mopped up. When my mother came home from the doctor, she had a good laugh and told me that it was dishwasher soap and that it had to be low-sudsing soap. Hmmph!!

It’s good that God gives us a sense of humor even if it doesn’t kick in until later. I can breathe a sigh of relief that I don’t have to go through days like that everyday and know that even when I do, God can give me the strength to get through them. I’m writing this from the perspective of looking back a week, so I can confidently say, "This too shall pass…."


C.C. said...

Hmmm, I'm sure you could have sold a video of that to America's Funniest Home Videos and made a load of cash off it. LOL :-P